'Funnies' from my t.v . guide

More 'funnies ' from my TV guide

1. An Australian Army vehicle, worth A$74,000 has gone missing - after being painted with camouflage paint.

2. The Infants School on Hanson Street reports a man, across the way, stands at his window for hours watching the school . . . making parents nervous. Police I.D. the subject as a cardboard cut-out of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

3. Tombstone for sale. Standard grey. A good buy for someone named Grady. (lol)

4. Broadcaster, Sandi Toksvig : " I like frogs. I am not crazy about their legs in a buffet, but I like their casual approach to life "

5. Broadcaster, Clive James : " The smartest move I ever made in showbiz was to start off looking like the kind of wreck I would end up as. I was already 'aged in the wood' "

6. Excuses made on car insurance claim forms :


(i) An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

(ii) The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go . . . so I ran him over.

(iii) When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car

(iiii) I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gent' . . .as he bounced off the hood of my car.