Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Medical Matters

I went see my doctor today. In-between discussing my minor ailment, we covered:

1. Whether sharks or jellyfish are the biggest threat to Ozzie & South African swimmers Doc said: 'Hippos bite people in half and they're not even in the sea.
2. The fact that the French like steak raw and the S.Africans want it burnt to a cinder.
3. Annoying people. I mentioned some S.Africans and some female Asian doctors who'd annoyed me.

And this was only a ten-minute appointment! Ya gotta love Dorset ;]

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Cleaning Stew From The Ceiling

It happened like this:

It was about 4 p.m., already getting dark in post 'clock-turning-back' Britain. My wife was fussing about in the kitchen, cooking tea. I could hear her grumbling and cursing when she dropped stuff ( which is often).

All of a sudden, there was an almighty crash and much cursing. She'd done exactly what I did, about a year ago, when I scalded my hand. She'd taken the casserole out of the oven and put in on the gas hob - from whence it had slipped, distributing beef stew all over the floor and the cupboard fronts.

Luckily she didn't scald herself and the casserole dish didn't break. She's been in a funny mood for about a week, so i thought it best to herd her from the room & set about cleaning up.The first 'sweep' went fine . . just the gravy to mop up. I resolved to wash everything thoroughly and return to the stove. Beef stew is not to be wasted.

Having calmed down, my wife returned and helped with the cleaning. We thought we'd got everything ship-shape when we looked up and discovered that there was also stew all over the ceiling ! I went & got the steps and we soon had it sorted. Beef stew is still on the menu . . but we won't be telling our teenage daughter about some of the more unusual stages in its preparation.

So . . if someone were to ask - like a detective - exactly what I was doing on Oct 2nd at around 4p.m., I'd have no trouble at all with my alibi.

" Me, officer", I'd reply, " Why . . I was cleaning Stew from the ceiling, of course. "

Case closed ;]